But. That hasn't really happened. I mean aside from my mother's doubt (and, really, she's the last person who should doubt my ability to throw a thrifty chic soiree).
I guess she thinks that approximately $10,000 gets you something like this
Complete with a Coors Light tower and a dance floor made out of exhausted liquor boxes.
Or [cue shudder] this beauty
Are those flutes REAL GLASS?! Whoa.
I'm not super caught up in having the "right" anything, and to be fair I'm not huge on pink or flowers. So maybe someone loves the second picture. In 1997. And the first one would be totally fine, and maybe even overkill, for a very casual summer barbecue.
Here are the things we're skipping:
1. Not seeing each other before the wedding
The Foliage hasn't agreed to this yet...I'm working on it. I just really want to do our pictures before the ceremony so we can go straight to the hanging out with people part of the day afterwards. I also think that seeing each other before the ceremony will help each of us to calm down. A lot.
2. Bridal/Groom's parties
Between the 2 families, we have 6 sisters. 6. If I start choosing friends, too, that's a LOT of chicks walking up the aisle. And it's a pretty short aisle. And a pretty small guest list. Our immediate families will essentially be our bridal parties, and we're not telling them what they have to wear, but if they want to pick something and match, they're welcome to do so. I have a feeling my sisters want to match. Desperately.
3. Me being given away
In keeping with the second point, we're going to process, at the same time, up opposite sides of the ceremony space, with our immediate families. Have you ever thought about the symbolism of a bride being given away? It means that the bride is her father's property, until he gives her to the groom and she becomes his property. Now it's just something that people DO but...I just can't. We haven't hammered out the exact arrangement of bodies yet. But I'll keep you posted.
I kind of think flowers are the dumbest thing ever. Or at least paying for them is. They just DIE. Also I hate the smell of lilies. Hate. Loathe. Luckily they won't be in season for our wedding, so it's a non-issue. My granna is a master gardener and VERY excited about planting flowers for us to use, so I'm fine if she wants to go to town on that. But that's the extent of the energy I'll be putting into that facet of the day.
In the same vein as #4 my granna offered to make our cake. We'd already decided to forego cake for pie, but she makes a wicked good cake, and we figured why not just have a small cake to have something to cut? We're going to focus primarily on pies. Goodness, I love pie...
6. The kiss
Just kidding we're totes going to kiss. But if there were any way we could not be seen while kissing, I'd be a fan of that option. I do not kiss in front of people. I don't. Except on my wedding day. So I might need to get very loosened up via libations. Or maybe therapy. Potato potawto.
7. Being introduced/first dance
This is...awkward. And I'm not a fan of this at other people's weddings. The waiting. And then the watching the supposedly romantic first dance. How am I supposed to feel romantical with everyone staring at me?! We can slow dance later once things are more mellow.
8. A full bar
We're not big drinkers. And none of our friends/family are, either. Not that they DON'T drink. We're all just more of take-it-easy type people. So we're going to find a couple of local wines and a beer (jaykay, Yuengling wins no question) and we'll stock up on those. We keep coming up with ideas for signature cocktails, but the jury's still out on whether we want to DEAL with preparing, storing and transporting large amounts of potentially sticky beverages.
There are probably other things on the "nuh uh" list. But those are the big ones. And I can't help but be reminded that we have friends who don't get to make these decisions because they can't legally get married. And how glad I am that I just get to marry this Twig Guy at all.