Monday, August 30, 2010

a tutorial on having a good time

Source
At the end of a long, exhausting day at the amusement park, fraught with expensive fried foods, inconvenient lockers, and attendees who do not actually like roller coasters, here is how to salvage your experience:

1. Approximately 20 minutes before the park closes, sprint to the opposite side of the place, to your favorite ride.
2. Realize that sprinting to the line did you no good because, hello, there's a line.
3. Get all 5 remaining revelers on said ride at the same time, after a 15 minute wait.
4. ROLLER COASTER!!
5. Walk to the roller coaster right next to the one you just rode, just to see, because it had shut down while you were in line earlier in the day.
6. Repeat step 3.
7. MORE DIFFERENT ROLLER COASTER!!
8. Debate running to the other side of the park to ride the only big coaster you missed.
9. While people debate, fill your gigantic souvenir cup for the 10th time....because you have to make it worth the cost somehow.
10. Also maybe get funnel cake at the all-but-closed food court.
11. Decide that maybe running to a ride called "The Mind Eraser" after eating funnel cake and drinking your 10th gigantic cup-full of soda is a bad idea.
12. While walking to the exit, notice that the Mexican food stand where you ate lunch is throwing away leftovers.
13. [Have your fearless future brother in law] ask for leftovers.
14. Eat delicious free Mexican food/start a riot of people clamoring for free Mexican food.
15. Drag your future sister in law who probably has a gambling problem away from the pay-to-play games.
16. Drive home fatter, burnter, and happier.

2 comments:

Leah said...

You should know that it's been MORE THAN 2 years since I have been on a roller coaster and I am completely jealous.

The Foliage said...

You forgot - TACO BELL AT 11:30!