Thursday, October 7, 2010

it's a difficult situation

Sooooo roadblock. In the whole Farthing House ordeal.

We've still not been able to do anything about the roaches. Partially, because it's expensive, but more so because even if we bring someone in with professional-level poison...there is just far too much clutter in this house for any treatment to be effective. Bugs can hide a million places even in the cleanest house...and this is far from that house.

Leaf and I have tried to employ a few strategies to get Grandpa Tom on board for cleaning up, but nothing works. We don't want to sneak around and start cleaning ourselves because it makes him very nervous, and ultimately, it's his house. What he says is what goes. Which is right and fine. Except that we can't rid the house of the bugs yet.

Last night it came to a head.

I'll skip over the details of Thanksgiving-o-Rama 2010, but this Tuesday we ended up suggesting to GPT that we host the family for the holiday. At Farthing. Which he didn't say "no" to, but mostly avoided addressing. Which is about as close as you can get to a "yes" with that guy. So then we tried to gently bring up cleaning the dining room. So people could, you know, GET to the table. Which they currently can't. Seriously.

As usual, he and Robyn misunderstood one another when they were discussing something mundane, and then they both blew up. It would be hilarious if I weren't living with it. Anyway, he got mad, and nixed the whole thing. Direct "no." So. We dropped it. Until yesterday, when Leaf brought it up again. I came home in the middle of the talk, during which GPT had begrudgingly agreed to host the family for the holiday.

During the discussion, I was looking around the room, and he said something about how he hadn't put that stuff (referring to the piles of boxes and papers and garbage lining the perimeter of the room) there, and blah blah blah. His usual "logic" for why the room is the way it is. Basically, his claim is that all that stuff has accumulated since Nana passed away. This past March. I said something to the effect of, "The first time I came here was 2 years ago, and it looked exactly the same; all this stuff was here."

And...yeesh. Sh*

GPT was PISSED at that statement. He was extraordinarily offended and refused to believe it was true. We would absolutely not be welcome to help him go through anything; everything is exactly where it's supposed to be, except for stuff that he says Robyn and Brendan have thrown on top of the piles.

Leaf thinks that GPT feels as though I throw everything in the garbage. Which isn't inaccurate; I threw out and donated a lot of stuff during the bedroom clean-up. It doesn't matter that the 2 pieces of furniture - which are WAY too big for this room - which he pointed out and said we had to leave in the room, I have been very careful not to damage, and have actually incorporated them in here nicely. For him.  To respect his wishes.

So we can't clean. But we're going to surreptitiously place roach poison allllll over the kitchen, and maybe in the bathrooms, and we'll see how things go. For the time being, we're going to spend Thanksgiving with my family, and all of Leaf's family is invited. Hey! Leaf's family who's reading this! You're invited to Thanksgiving with my family. Lemme know if you're coming. Gr8 thx.


Anonymous said...

you are living with a hoarder. chances are, without pro help, it won't change.

ceejus said...

Oh, we know. We just don't think that even a professional will have much luck, because he's in such denial. All we can do is work with what we have, and try to make the house as safe and as sanitary as possible for the kids.

Anonymous said...

you should just lock him out one day and throw it all away and pretend like the house was always like that