Friday, February 4, 2011

wrinkling time

I time travel a lot in my mind. Which is a lot less psychotic than it sounds. I just imagine that I go back in time to my younger, smellier, awkwarder self and tell her that she's going to grow up to have the most a-mah-zing boobs ever and to PLEASE not tell that popular girl who rides the bus that she's got a hairy lip. And not to feel guilty about the end of every.single.relationship. she ever has.

But clearly I never figure out how, because I would remember that super bizarre - but crazy helpful - event happening during my childhood.

Conversely, I also imagine moving forward in time. I'll often stop myself in the middle of doing something that could only be done now. In this day and age. Like watching HD television. Or deactivating my phone from halfway around the world. Or eating healthy food out of a can. I imagine someone experiencing these things all of a sudden, after not having them. Without any frame of reference. But I don't imagine that little kid me has come to 2011.

I imagine Laura Ingalls Wilder has.

Do not ask me why. I have no idea. I've done this for as long as I can remember; even when I was still my younger, smellier, awkwarder self. I'd imagine that she was sitting next to me her in calico dress watching Captain Planet, and I'd have to explain to her what was going on, while simultaneously calming her down so she wouldn't draw too much attention.*

When I'm standing on the dimly-lit metro platform, and hear the low rumble, and feel the vibration in the floor, and see the tunnel gradually being illuminated, and feel the rush of wind...I wonder what the eff she would think was going on. I imagine she'd think a wall of fire was roaring through the tunnel, and coming to engulf us all. And with no escape, since the whole place is enclosed and perfectly-shaped for being consumed by flame, and the escalators are too crowded to get up quickly, she'd be terrified. I'd NEVER be able to talk her down from that ish.

*FYI I was only imagining this, not doing it out loud. I wasn't THAT awkwarder.


R.A.P. said...

oooh. first you should show her the movie The Last Unicorn. and then when she sees the train coming down the metro tunnel she will think it's the RED BULL. least that's what I think about every time I see the light in the tunnel..

ceejus said...

Well, it just comes back to the problem of her being there all of a sudden. And I have to get her onto the train and through the metro and home before seeing a movie is even an option. Because, for some reason, it's not like she's been with me for my whole life; she just showed up. Every single time. It's always brand new. Somehow she knows me, and no one else, and I'm all, "Shh shhh you're going to get us arrested," and also, "seriously we need to buy you some jeans. This bonnet and apron action is freaking people out."

But after that, TOTALLY The Last Unicorn.