Thursday, April 14, 2011

[insert religion known for guilt here]

It's really weird to reconnect with people that were "better" than me in middle school. I say "better" rather than "more popular" because that would imply that I had any level of popularity at the time. Which I did not. At all. If Dwight Shrute and I had grown up together, I would have been below him on the popularity totem pole.

The other kids wore the right clothes and said the right things and got really good grades. A lot of them seem to be doing very well, and are living out their ambitious dreams. But others....wear way too much makeup and appear to drink for a living. I know my parents tried to explain these children to me, back in the dizzay, but it didn't take. They explained why maaaaaybe the lives of those kids weren't as ideal as they seemed. And tried to tell me not to compare myself to other people. But of course it didn't work.

I wish there were some way to raise children knowing these things. To feel genuine pity and compassion. I know it's totally pointless to feel guilty now, and really unrealistic to think I could've affected any change at that age, but I still feel badly. Like I missed an opportunity to be kind when that was exactly what someone needed. All I ever did was resent them. Stupid.

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