Monday, April 18, 2011

under pressure

I was informed this weekend* that the readers during weddings are generally pitied. Because doing the readings is a BS job. The Junior Varsity to the bridal party's Varsity.

But we don't have a bridal party. And there are only so many "jobs" to do (without being a full-on working vendor).

So I would just like to express that these wedding rules of thumb? They're absolute crap. If somebody has a role in my wedding (even if it's just showing up and watching the ceremony), they're important. I don't want people who don't lead exemplary lives to read the sacred words we've chosen. I don't want people in unhappy relationships to pray over our rings. And I don't want people who we DO choose to carry out these roles to feel slighted.

If you're so much as invited to my wedding, I want you to know that you are important to us. I'm sorry we can't have all of you be bridal party members or give you all specific jobs to do. But I want you all to know that we love you, and we're so excited that you're a part of our community. Come, eat, dance and don't over-think it.

*Otherwise it was a pretty awesome weekend, spent with 2 of my most favorite ladies in the whole world.


Sarah said...

Seriously? People are telling you that?!

Lame asses.

Our reader (one of my dearest friends) was chosen specifically because the words would mean something coming from him. He says he was MORE honored being asked to read that passage than if he'd been asked to stand next to Jon.

ANY "job" in a wedding is an honor! The girls who handed out our programs were FREAKING OVERJOYED to be asked. A little over the top, even. Because it WAS a job I could have handed off to anyone, and we chose THEM.

Gawd, people need to get a grip.

Leah said...

Thank God. I don't want anyone down playing my role to ROCK THE DANCEFLOOR. Just saying....

ceejus said...

Sarah - My thoughts exactly. Our choices MEAN something, they aren't just throw-aways.

Leah - THAT IS SO YOUR JOB FOR REALZ. Like you didn't know. Even when I'm weighed down with too much pizza, I'll relax 'cause you'll be out there, making things happen. And Connor will be mackin' on every girl in attendance. Now THAT's a party.

rachel said...

what Sarah said! SERIOUSLY who is telling you this? that fills me with rage. sounds like something someone on the kn*t would would say.

I think people who do readings would only feel slighted if they were asked this way: "umm you're not really good enough to be in the wedding party, I guess you could read this thing, just, don't embarrass us!" (which, nobody says that right? except in the movies? I hope?). usuallyyyy a person is asked in such a way that the importance and weight of it is communicated and they are extremely honored. as they should be. because of course any role in a wedding is an honor. particularly if there IS no wedding party, doing a reading is HUGE.

ceejus said...

We have a lot of people who are really close to us that aren't in our bridal parties, since we're foregoing the whole BP thing, and it's a totally foreign concept to them. So they feel really left out. Which I understand. I think the problem, really, is that eeeeeeverybody else has the. same. wedding. essentially, which is what our loved ones have been attending and experiencing up until now, so now our friends and family members have these specific expectations that we're not meeting. And people get mad when their expectations aren't met. So. We're just going to be pissing a whole lot of people off via our nuptials. Is the long and short of it.