Tuesday, May 17, 2011

free your mind

Sometimes at night when I'm trying to go to sleep, really scary things will pop into my head. Things like zombies. And spiders. But if I automatically think about something else (for example, candy or the beach), I will DEFINITELY have a nightmare about the scary thing. I guess because my brain classifies it as a subconscious thought since it went away so quickly...? I have no idea. But it sucks.

To minimize nightmaring, I force myself to keep thinking about the scary thing until I've made sure there can't be any confusion about whether or not it was a conscious thought. So last night, I HAD to think about zombies for, like, a full 5 minutes. And a brain can do a lot of damage in 5 minutes. The Foliage was sleeping peacefully, and I was on the verge of a panic attack next to him. Heart-pounding, cold sweat, crazy anxiety. Just your regular old self-torture. But I didn't have a nightmare! So I guess I win? In the life of Ceej, it's really hard to tell.

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