It's one of those this-wedding-might-actually-kill-me days. I get completely bogged down and overwhelmed by my to-do list, and periodically think to myself,
"It's about you and The Foliage. Everything else will be OK, as long as you end up married."
And, yeah, that's true. But you know what won't be OK? If we don't have tables. THAT's right. We currently have no tables. Or chairs. Or non-vegan hors d'oeuvres (less of an issues, now that the fabulous Miss Rachel is ALL OVER the vegan ones). Or music for the ceremony. Or plates. Plates!!
When people ask how wedding planning is going or if I'm ready for it, I'll usually give my watered-down response. Because we all know that no one ever asks those questions REALLY wanting to know. Same as the usual generic, "Hey! How ARE you?" I don't care how much emphasis is on that "are"...it's a lie. The asker just wants you to give an equally generic response.
So for wedding planning, I do that. "Great!" or the good-natured helpless shrug. Unless I'm super absorbed with fcking pashminas, in which case maybe they'll get the truth. Which you read above, but I'll repeat: this wedding might actually kill me. And then THEY remind me that if The Foliage and I end up married, it's all fine.
Here's the thing:
We are not NOT focused on the marriage. Seriously. We've done more marriage prep than anyone I know. And I'm not talking about going through a list of questions together at home. I'm talking about 9 hours of PreCana, 4 hours of married-couple-mentoring, and 6 hours of meetings with our priest. Not counting work we did at home for those meetings (like choosing our ceremony readings together in preparation for a priest meeting). We've also dealt with the death of a parental figure, unemployment, merged our finances, and moved twice since being together.
I feel so, totally, totally ready to be married to this guy, that I am willing to sacrifice time and sanity to freak out about how we don't have tables. Because I can afford that brainspace. In the background, that brainspace is still working its ass off to be a good partner to The Foliage. The foreground might make that hard to believe, but you'll just have to trust me on this one. Isn't he lucky?? I'm so committed to him, I'm willing to obsess over the party! Man. To be in that guy's shoes, right?
Dear The Foliage, You. Are. Welcome.