Thursday, October 6, 2011

ooh babeh babeh

This is the part where I tell you about our life timeline. Lifeline? No. Timeline. Or timelife, maybe. I don't know. Like when we think we're going to have kids and the like. At the risk of jinxing all of our plans. Because how can I whine (I mean blog...BLOG!!) effectively if you don't know the background?
Ooooh now you know there's some whining on its way. Aren't you excited?
So I really want to be a mom. I just always have. Always. There has never been a day in my existence when I thought I didn't want to eventually be a parent. And - what luck! I took the Myers-Briggs personality type test recently, and my type is INFP or "The Idealist" which is apparently a "natural parent." So that's handy, albeit surprising. I suspected I'd be a "natural scourge upon the Earth" or a "natural reason to avoid coming home." THANKS, SCIENCE.
I've put a lot of thought into parenting. You're shocked, I'm sure. I think CONSTANTLY about the things I do now that will/could affect my future babies. I've always done this. But it's never been so CLOSE or DEFINITE before. Hopefully, this time next year, I'll be pregnant. Really newly pregnant, but pregnant all the same. Because...ugh you're going to roll your eyes at me so hard...
I want to give birth in the spring. Because that's when it "feels" the most "natural" to give birth. Which is a totally stupid reason! I know! I'm even putting my reasons in quotation marks because I can't believe the ridiculousness of myself! But GEEZ that's what we're doing. Also these factors came into play: not wanting to be super huge in winter (ice hazard + clumsiest human ever = ...oh noes) or summer (oooohhh the discomfort). Oh, also my birthday's in the summer, which is fun as an adult, but growing up was the WORST because everyone was always on vacation and parties had to be an embarrassing and awkward I-never-see-you-outside-of-school big deal instead of just cupcakes at lunch like all the other kids. And The Foliage's birthday is in winter, right before Christmas/Hannukah, so that had its own set of problems. And birthdays only really matter when you're a kid anyway.
So we're aiming for late spring births. Oh, yes, that's multiple. Because we both have a 3-kid minimum rule. You don't grow up in families like ours and then feel like 1 or 2 kids is acceptable. I mean, for families who want that, that's fine. But we think, "where's the challenge in that?? Just 2?!" Eventually I'm going to eat my words on this SO HARD but 2 kids is like taking a nap. For now. To me. And, you know, maybe some will be adopted. We're not ruling that out. In fact, if it turns out that we can't conceive, I will have no reservations at all about adopting. Pre-engagement, that had been my plan for nearly 10 years. But then I read "The Kid" which is all about Dan Savage's process in adopting his son, and one of the adoption agency people told the adopters a bunch of reasons they should not have for adopting, and several of them were on my personal reasons list. So. Also, The Foliage and I moved into our house together, and I started feeling like, "ummm...I need there to be more of you in the world. Maybe, like, 4 more."
With the expectation that I'll be pregnant next summer/fall, and giving birth the following spring, that brings us to: LOGISTICS! So fun!
We currently live in a fairly large 1-bedroom apartment, in an area that we LOVE. We really have no desire to leave. And I think more space is underrated a lot of the time anyway. We figure we can have at LEAST one baby in this apartment. S/he'll sleep in a bassinet in our room for several months, and then we'll convert the dining area to be a nursery later. And I can probably get pregnant again and bassinet baby #2 before we really need to find another place.
Any parents reading this are probably thinking this is unrealistic. And it probably is. If we get there and realize we just can't live with that many humans in our apartrment, we'll figure it out then. But right now, it's looking like we won't HAVE to move until 2015. Assuming babies are born two years apart. And then we'd like to buy a house where we can raise all of de babehs. Preferably REALLY CLOSE to where our apartment is now.
What all of this really comes down to is this:
This is my last holiday season as a non-parent, non-pregnant person. If all goes according to plan. Which it might not. But if it DOES, I won't have a carefree Halloween or New Year's Eve ever again. So I feel all sorts of self-applied PRESSURE to LIVE IT UP and WEAR SHORT SPARKLY THINGS. But nowhere to go. Because I'm also really really enjoying being married and the you're-not-invited snuggling. As are most of my friends. So no one's throwing any parties. And I don't really have anywhere TO throw a party. But I need to figure something out. I don't know if I'll regret missing the opportunity to black out as 2012 makes it's debut, but why take that chance, you know?


Sarah said...

Um, hello, didn't YOU throw the Halloween party last year? Get on it!

Also ... if that's not your thing, let's do a birthday bash ... the 21st is my birthday AND Jenn's ... I imagine we can fit some short sparkly drinking action in around then.

rachel said...

I have a kind of halloween party I'm going to now, not sure I can invite other people though (it's a horror movie party in gaithersburg, I don't think you're heartbroken to miss it). BUT you know you could just throw on some awesome costumes and metro down to Dupont or Adams Morgan, there will be plenty of mayhem to be found I'm sure!

and, umm, if you didn't want to go homemade. I usually go homemade and it fails miserably, sometimes I cave and buy one.. pretty sure I'm going to try being strong bad this year, just gotta figure out how to make Zach into trogdorrrrrr.

ceejus said...

I think we're gonna be in DE this year, after all that. But at a party where our wedding DJ will be spinning! Love that guy.

I knowwww I planned it last year, but it wasn't at MY place, and there's really not enough room for a party at my place, so. Hands: tied. Currently. I'm up for hosting football parties. Anyone? Anyone?