Tuesday, May 31, 2011

put your hands up

This post really doesn't have a point.

Though I guess arguably NONE of my posts do. So. There's that.

Here's what I'm trying to say: I have issues with mucus.

Not just any mucus...my mucus. You know how dogs always have wet noses, and that's how you know they're healthy? Well, I ALWAYS have a sniffle. Year-round. Every year. All the time. It's really annoying. And when people make me laugh unexpectedly, I exhale sharply, and snot flies out of my nose. Then I immediately wipe my nose with my hand to get rid of the evidence. But really I just draw more attention to the fact that I have snot on my face. Great. I've trained myself to have more of a chest-laugh*, so I'm not doing the breathing-laugh thing. So now my options are a hearty guffaw or MUCUS.

I'm a real winner. In other news, we decided on our wedding bands this weekend, which means I LOCKED THAT SH*T DOWN. Awww YEAH life strategery!!

*Which is not to say my laugh isn't genuine, it's just maybe not what my natural laugh would be when left unattended.

Friday, May 27, 2011

no seriously it does

Also, is Steven Tyler's new song/video "(It) Feels So Good" not the most '90s thing you've ever seen in your life? It feels like being 10 years old.

sour grapes

The other day, after I posted about The Foliage ruining my life via Words With Friends, he said something that made it clear that he was working really hard to destroy me. Which made me even angrier, because why couldn't he just play normally?! So I gave him a hard time about it, and he said, "If I take it easy on you...come on. You won't like that. You know you want me to play for real."

I replied, "No, I most certainly do not. Stop putting so much effort into beating me. Geez."

He won that game. But not by much. And then I initiated a re-match. And I'm currently beating him. But this morning he said something like, "Oh, man, I almost destroyed you when I used my 'X'." So I asked, "Are you taking it easy on me? For real?" and he said, "Well, not completely. Just that one turn I knew would completely ruin your day. But mostly I'm playing like normal."

So OF COURSE I said, "Don't do that! How am I supposed to enjoy beating you if you don't play like you usually do?"

To which he responded, ".........."

The punchline here is that I'm a terribly sore loser. Don't take it easy on me. But I apologize in advance for how childish I'm going to be when you dominate my life.

If you want to play me in Words With Friends, my handle is peachyringz.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

we don't care about the old folks

Is it normal to get into significantly large fights about approaches to parenting and pregnancy when pregnancy isn't even going to be imminent for another year? I sure hope so.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

baby i was born this way

The Foliage is really good at Scrabble games. Like REALLY ridiculously good. You know what I'm not good at? Losing. When we first got the Words With Friends iPhone app, we played several times, I won twice. But never again. I've only heard of him losing one time since then, and he plays pretty much constantly. I had to stop, because it made me want to strangle him, and I've heard homicide isn't the best way to end a relationship.

But I missed playing. I knew I shouldn't take the games personally, and I needed practice winning, so I took on some randomly selected opponents. They all quit 2 or 3 moves into the game. Which gave me a false sense of confidence. So I challenged The Foliage again.

And now he's kicking my words-with-friends-playing ass, and I'm at work plotting how I can "accidentally" punch him in the groin when we get home. Any ideas? They'd be appreciated.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

if i could turn back time

Source

I wish I'd had this purse as a teenager. Maybe The Foliage can institute a curfew so it makes sense for me to carry this around the city. Or something.

Monday, May 23, 2011

my first lesson on marriage. and incest. and baby talk.

I remember watching something on TV with my mom when I was little. 4 or 5 I think. Something about royalty. Or maybe it was a live-action fairytale movie. Whatever it was, there was a reference to a princess marrying her brother, the prince. The pursuant conversation went something like this:

Little Ceej: I don't have a brother to marry.
Mom: I'm sorry.
LC: Is Daddy your brother?
Mom: No, I met your father in college.
LC: Did you used to have brothers?
Mom: Oh, Christine, you know your Uncle Tom and Uncle Scott. They're my brothers.
LC: Why didn't you marry them?
Mom: I didn't want to marry them. And it's against the law to marry people in your family now.
LC: So it's bad?
Mom: Yes, it's very bad.
LC: Then why did the princess do it?
Mom: It used to be that people got married to keep property in the family. They didn't want to share their money.
LC: I don't have any money.
Mom: Yeah, me neither.

Very little of that is paraphrasing; I remember it pretty clearly, considering. I really appreciate that my parents always spoke to me like a person, not a child. They were patronizing a lot of the time, but they didn't baby-talk at me. I asked my mom about this once, too, and she said, "If I talk to you like you're a baby, then you'll talk like a baby. I don't want you to talk like a baby. I want you to TALK."

And now I do. Often. If you enjoy this blog, you can send donations to my mom directly. Is pretty much what I'm saying.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

this morning

The Foliage: Do you want some tea?
Ceej: Mmmm yes!
The Foliage: Me too. Why don't you go put on some water?

And then I did. Because WTF? That was well-played.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

one of these things is not like the others

Last night we went to dinner and to see The Foliage's dad play in one of his bands. I ordered a salad, and when it arrived it was HUGE. Absolutely gigantic. Pretty much family-sized. And there were a lot of components that were sort of segregated on the plate. One of which looked like guacamole. But when I mixed them all together, and took a big bite, realized it was actually wasabi. And suddenly it became the most terrifying salad I've ever had.

I really need to start reading menus more thoroughly.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

the heat is on

Welcome back to the The Foliage and The Ceejus' Honeymoon Saga!

Hopefully this is the final stretch. Please, universe and Great Omnipotence...please let us be almost done planning this.

To review:
  • Our honeymoon will be for 2 weeks. We'll leave late on Monday, September 5th and return the weekend of September 17th. Probably Sunday afternoon.
  • First we thought we'd stay home and do nothing.
  • Then we thought we'd road trip.
  • Then, Ibiza.
  • Then my parents offered us their timeshare for one of the weeks, and a family friend of The Foliage's offered to pay for airfare as a wedding gift.
  • So we're going to Europe!
  • The second week is being spent in my parents' timeshare exchange. THEIR timeshare is in Atlantic City, so we've been wait-listed for our choice locations for "our" week.
  • Our choice locations were Nice, France and Venice, Italy.
  • We had a travel agent plan our first week, based on ending in Nice or Venice.
  • She created an itinerary starting in London, then going to Paris, then Zermatt, Switzerland, followed by a train to our second week location.
  • Yesterday, the timeshare management company called to say they can't find anything in Nice or Venice, but offered one on Tenerife in the Canary Islands.
  • On first glance, awesome. On second glance (and after reading reviews), meh.
  • The Foliage called back, and they had 2 Austrian properties available, and 1 on Gran Canaria in the Canaries.
  • F*ck yeah Canary Islands!
So that's our week 2 plan: Gran Canaria.

But now we need to figure out what to do for week 1. Because we're not going from Zermatt to the Canary Islands mid-trip. That's, like, an entire day of traveling. No.

Our current first week options are:
  • Barcelona (maybe also Cadiz, if we want to split it up a little)
  • Portugal
  • Morocco
We want somewhere we can explore, somewhere we're unlikely to visit with children (because we're romanticizing our future family life, and totally think we can travel to Europe with children), somewhere with amazing food.

Any opinions? Thoughts? I'm leaning toward Barcelona, but that might be because of this rental option which I want to put in my mouth. Le sigh.

in a white room

When I was little* I wet the bed, like, ALL THE TIME. It was awful. And my parents tried everything they could think of to make it stop.

At one point, my mom started making me swallow a tablespoon of honey each night before bed. I have no idea why. But every night that I did this, I woke up dry. So she continued. I don't remember how long this went on, maybe a few weeks, but eventually we stopped.

And now, even though I know logically that I love honey, the thought of it makes my stomach churn with shame. Which sucks because MAN honey is so good.

*OK, until I was 12. TWELVE. OMG I know.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

good decisions

Yesterday I saw the movies "Something Borrowed" and "All Good Things." I hated both of them. That's all you need to know.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

i don't wear sunscreen i wear crisco

So my bridal shower was Sunday, and the theme had been successfully kept a secret from me, which I found to be pretty impressive. I'm really nosy. But my friends are really douchey, so they just LOVED knowing something I didn't know.

Anyway, it was DIY. And each guest was asked to contribute a family recipe, so now I have a binder full of incredible recipes, along with all the helpful hints to alter them or dress them up. But in one of the pockets is an envelope. An envelope of my Great Grandma Matthews' recipes, photocopied from her hand-written cards. One of the recipes is for Clam Cakes, and has a bunch of ingredients listed. And here are the cooking instructions: Fry in deep fat. THE END.

Ohhhhh, New England...

free your mind

Sometimes at night when I'm trying to go to sleep, really scary things will pop into my head. Things like zombies. And spiders. But if I automatically think about something else (for example, candy or the beach), I will DEFINITELY have a nightmare about the scary thing. I guess because my brain classifies it as a subconscious thought since it went away so quickly...? I have no idea. But it sucks.

To minimize nightmaring, I force myself to keep thinking about the scary thing until I've made sure there can't be any confusion about whether or not it was a conscious thought. So last night, I HAD to think about zombies for, like, a full 5 minutes. And a brain can do a lot of damage in 5 minutes. The Foliage was sleeping peacefully, and I was on the verge of a panic attack next to him. Heart-pounding, cold sweat, crazy anxiety. Just your regular old self-torture. But I didn't have a nightmare! So I guess I win? In the life of Ceej, it's really hard to tell.

Friday, May 13, 2011

just can't get enough

Oh, man, Blogger. I did not appreciate last night's/today's leave of absence one little BIT. Luckily, if you HAD been available, I probably would've written a very POOR ME I STILL HATE PLANNING MY STUPID WEDDING type of post, BUT you took so long to get over being verklempt (or whatever the eff you were doing) that I think the issue at hand is now solved. So HA. Take THAT. I might've even solved a totally different problem that I hadn't intended to address today!

I'm not going to get cocky and be all, "Yay I'm on track!" because that's exactly when you learn that your gown has somehow been eaten by beta fish or your caterer has decided to instead sell surfboards for a living. In Jamaica. Which is not where your wedding is. And he won't even give you a discount on the d*mn boards, either.

Anyway.

Today started out crappy. I snoozed through both alarms, and when The Foliage snuggled up to me and told me what time it was, I responded, "WHY DO YOU SUCK?" And leapt out of bed. And didn't talk to him for the next hour. I'm basically the best life partner ever.

But the day got awesome AND FAST. My Ship emailed me while I was in Mexico that I should read her High School friend's hilarious blog Hate You, Probably. Sometimes I'm obedient, so yesterday I did. And she referenced her friend 21st Century Mrs (now This is Not That Blog) a LOT. So I read that one, too. Both of them. All the way through. Because that's how I roll when I'm in bloglove. As you may have heard. Thank goodness neither of them has been blogging for a very long time, or I might've had entries left to read when I got home, and then The Foliage would've been uh-noyed.

So today I Twitterstalked both of them (HYP needs donations to make Jeremy London's dream come true, by the by, give early give often), and then they totally followed me back and then we were all have a Twiversation and I was all, "Am I dreaming? This feels like dreaming..." But so far it looks like I was conscious, so that's pretty awesome. There's such a weird disconnect between knowing people in blogs and knowing people for realz, right? And when you start blogging, you follow the Big Guys. Like Dooce. And Relentlessly Optimistic. So everybody with a blog you like feels like a celebrity, unless you FERREAL knew them before you read their blog (I'm looking at you, Leah...can you please get on Twitter by the way? Please?). So. Anyway. It felt like a really really big deal, even though it probably isn't. Quit undermining my joy, for crissakes! Geez.

But then this OTHER awesome thing happened, and that is an amazing deal. Just try not to click that link. I DARE YOU. My Ship and I were, like, "Whaaaa???" And we're so doing it*. And OMG we're going to high five so much.

Sorry again, Foliage. Let's make out? Or I'll just be nicer to you in the future FINE. GAWD.

*The Orlando one. Does anyone wanna do an additional trip to Vegas with me? 'Cause I'd be down. My marriage is making me part-Jewish so I just can't walk away from that price.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

build your castles in the sky

This. Is. Hilarious.

I was just having the same thought recently. I don't know why. Probably the same reason I psychoanalyzed a Beatles' song character. For whatever reason, I was thinking about the improbability of the lives of all the women on Sex and the City. And, I mean, ALL television characters' lives are totally unrealistic when you consider their jobs (see: Friends, in which Monica who was unemployed a lot of the time, afforded a 1,500 square foot, 2-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village...and her roommates were largely unemployed, too). But SATC really bugged me. The homes AND the Manolo addictions AND the constant drinking at lounges? Puh-leeze.

Anyway, that breakdown is HIRAR. I highly recommend.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

but we lost ourselves

When we first got to Mexico, and I smelled the ocean and saw this


Taken by The Foliage from the balcony of the condo where we stayed our first night in Mexico. The resort was even better. Hopefully some post-worthy pictures of that will surface soon...

All I could think was, "The ocean doesn't know what day it is." Over and over. It was weird. And it kept coming back all weekend. The recurring thought that what we do doesn't matter, except to us. Even the heights of human triumph...are ultimately nothing. Because the sea doesn't give a f*ck about it.

Not to say that I'm giving up on life or effort or whatever, because mattering in the now is something that matters to me. I just like feeling small and insignificant sometimes.

port only comes from portugal...so our bottle from virginia must be having quite the identity crisis

I love those times when The Foliage takes me to the more expensive grocery store, and then tells me at the cheese section that THAT's why we're there. And then we choose fancy, stinky cheeses for dinner. And say things like, "I'm really interested in THIS one, but it seems like more of a beer cheese than a port cheese, don't you think?" and are being totally, totally genuine. Then we take a moment to recognize what ridiculous, entitled WASC/Js we are. But then we're all, "Yeah, but seriously...why would I eat that cheese if I'm having a port?"

I'm a big fan of being us.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

only to find gideon's bible

Rocky Raccoon is pretty ridiculous, as a character, and I randomly got really. really. angry with him yesterday while we were traveling from Mexico* to Maryland. The song got stuck in my head, and the more I thought about the lyrics, the more annoyed I became.

The guy really needs therapy.

First, he's in love with a woman who has a multitude of names, which seems pretty shady to me. Why can't you love someone who's honest, Rocky? Why? Second, she left you for another guy. A relationship can't work if only 50% of the people want to be in it, man. Third, if she's the kind of girl who WOULD fall in love with you because you murdered her boyfriend? Well...kind of a red flag, I should think. You can't blame the other guy for Magill (or Lil or Nancy or some other alias) falling for him. Maybe you should've been a better partner, and focused on her needs, rather than violent vengeance.

Just try to like you for you. I'm sure you'll find a nice, succinctly-named girl in no time.

*Which r00led, as you might expect.

Monday, May 9, 2011

stylestar

I'm going to start walking around in bathing suits and ordering drinks from passerby in DC. I think it'll totally catch on. Like "fetch."

Friday, May 6, 2011

say my name say my name

The topic of name-changing has been pretty ferociously debated (also, I can't believe that entry's from a year ago), as it's a pretty personal one. I've known for a long time that I didn't want to be the only one to change my name when I got married, but I've ALWAYS known my name would change when that day came. Luckily, The Foliage has wanted to legally add his mother's last name to his for years, so that's what he'll be doing. And we'll both be doing all the paperwork and going through the hassle, which I love, but we're still going to have the same last name and be tied to our extended family. Perfect.

But one day, pretty soon after getting engaged, I was at my parents' house, and my father and I were talking. I mentioned how it was really hard for a lot of women (and in some cases not even an option) to change their last names. I couldn't even get to the part where I said I'd be taking my partner's family names before my dad started barking, "Just take his name! TAKE HIS NAME! IT'S NICE!" Which, you know, kind of took me aback.

My sisters and I are the last of the family with this last name. Well, that's not true. There's a brach we've never met who pronounce it wrong (seriously...it's so so wrong). So if none of us have/adopt kids and give them our current surname, it's completely done. Which has always felt so HUGE to me. And I thought my dad would have the same opinion. Buuuuut apparently I was wrong.

He said, "it's just a string of syllables...it doesn't mean anything. That's all any name is." Which was weird. He can be a very unemotional guy sometimes. In any case, it kind of changed how I've looked at last names. They're just sounds. They used to exist to tell people where you were from or what you did. Now we're all from everywhere and hardly anyone has a family business to represent. I was already going to change my name, but that made it a little easier.

Also now I get to yell, "JUST CHANGE YOUR NAME. IT'S NICE." to my friends who are undecided. So that's fun.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

you mean to tell me there's pink balloons AND they're giggling?! something must be done!

GChat conversation with The Foliage today (and I use the word "conversation" loosely because he was really just ranting AT me, as you'll see):

The Foliage: Right now I'm really annoyed at the "girl club" in this office.
Every time a girl is getting married or having a baby, they throw a little work shower in the conference room and get the company to pay for it!
And guys are never invited!
WTF exclusion!
If you want to hold a gender exclusive event, do it somewhere else! Otherwise, feed me!
It mostly annoys me this time because it's for [MauiWowy], and she's totally my friend too!
Stupid pink balloons and giggles...stop paying for "girls day in" with company money!

Hurumph

...3 minutes later...

The Foliage: Aw see now I feel bad
Because they opened the doors up for leftovers

Ceej:  too late


Even though he recanted (which is how NINETY-NINE PER CENT of his rants end...seriously, there's video to attest to this fact), I'm still sharing this with you, Internet. Because...oh, the injustice!!

don't feed the animals

So I mentioned that we've been watching the Harry Potter movies this week. The Foliage downloaded them (and then got an email from Verizon that Warner Bros. TOTALLY NOTICED*, but that's not the point). Normally when he downloads large files like these, he stores them on his external hard drive.

Yesterday, we were discussing our plans for the next two nights, to make sure we've got our bags packed and have time to work out before heading to the airport tomorrow. Tonight WOULD be our last HP movie, but that might get us in bed too late for tomorrow morning's plans. So I said he should make sure the movies are on his computer so we could watch the last one in the airport. To which he responded,

"...they're on my computer"

Exactly like that. I nearly got on the metro so I could ride to his office and punch him in the face. Ugh. Seriously...for, like, ever?

*They're not doing anything about it; more of a heads up sort of situation.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

series i have mocked that i really want to experience

So I'm pretty judgy when it comes to popular media. I tend to resent things that EEEEEVERYONE else knows and just fawns over continually. Often because this fawning happens completely out of left field when HELLO we were totally co-enjoying this other thing like 5 minutes ago! And I'm kind of an attention whore. And things I know nothing about totally steal my spotlight of knowing stuff.

But whining and jealousy aside, here are the series that I'm really curious about. I think I'm finally grown-up enough to be able to admit to my adoration of most lame things. I think. We'll see.

1. Twilight

Ugh shut up. I don't even want to hear it. I've been such a douche about Twilight, but UGH. That's primarily because I was so the loser kid who was alllll about vampires in my tween years. And that sh*t got me MOCKED. But all of a sudden, Stephenie Meyer comes out of the woodwork, with her misspelled name, and vampires are cool? SERIOUSLY?

Ever since this ish got big, I've been wallowing in resentment. Oh, sure, modern teenagers. Live it up. You will never know the pain of wanting to read the Anne Rice books so badddddd in the school library, but choosing something mundane and impossible to ridicule instead. I hope you're enjoying your freedom. Also, if there's something you love now, that's considered uber-lame? Turn it into a set of novels and strike it RICH in 15 years. Heads up: Shelly Duvall and Renaissance everything are about to come back in a BIG way. Probably. If this trend of being wayyyy accidentally ahead of the curve continues in my life.

So I want to read all the books AND THEN see the movies. And then if anyone hosts a Twiparty, I am SO THERE because I lurve parties and I'll be able to comment on current events, like Jacob's partially open shirt on page 279.

2. True Blood

Pretty much the same as that last one. Except southern accents kind of really annoy me. But LORD those people are attractive, so I can probably get over it.

3. Harry Potter

The Foliage and I are watching all the movies this week so we can see the finale in theatres, because it looks crazy epic. I gave my sisters a really hard time about this series, but come on. It's really hard to NOT mock your siblings when you all live at home and they're crazy about something, no? Especially when it's more than one of them. I can't be the only one who's experienced this...

Anyway, the movies are pretty brilliant, and I'd like to read the books to get more of the detail and nuances. 

4. Spartacus: Blood and Sand

My betrothed is telling me I wanted to watch this miniseries. I have no recollection of saying any such thing, but my memory kind of sucks, and I wouldn't be surprised if he'd FINALLY figured out that he could easily manipulate that to his advantage. Maybe tomorrow he'll tell me that I reeeeeeally wanted to watch the Fast and the Furious movies. Spoiler alert: I didn't. Ever.

5. Lost

I didn't watch this when it was on because initially it just didn't look that interesting, and then later when it DID look interesting, all I ever heard from people was that it was super addictive. And I didn't want to start watching and have to deal with the WAITING. Once I'm into something, I'm in, and I need to finish it. So I've purposefully waited until it was off the air. And now it's been off the air for a year or so I guess, and I still haven't watched it. But I've gotten surprisingly few details about the show. Hopefully this coming winter will be a snowy one and we'll be able to hole up and watch it all at once. INTENSE. Loves.

I'm sure there are others, but that's all I can remember for now. I've already got the first book of The Hunger Games so at least I won't be left behind on that one. Finally, a win!

Monday, May 2, 2011

i'm right in the MIDDLE of something, ray

As a follow-up to my wee-hours-post this morning:

"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls..." Proverbs 24:17 and "I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live." Ezekiel 33:11


Posted by a friend of mine on Facebook. I couldn't have said it better.
 
Also, a lot of people have been talking about how the timing of the Correspondents' Dinner and last night's announcement worked out. I'll admit, that ish was pretty brilliant. But Obama had been dealing with this Special Operation for, what, 6 weeks? Didn't that overlap with the almost-government-shut-down?
 
Can't you imagine all the stupid roadblocks that were being put up at the time, and Obama being, all, "No for REALZ you guys...do NOT shut us down. I'm doing something really amazing that you've been trying to do for EVAH and you're totes gonna be jealoussss!"

a rose by any other name

The Foliage and I were talking this past weekend about genetic diseases* and cultural heritage. After the wedding we're going to try to map out our family trees as best we can (we have NO time for this right now). His mom's side of the family is largely Irish, I've got some Irish in my family too, and we both have a lot of Polish, so it's kind of neat to be re-converging some cultures**.

The problem is in the details. We both have branches of our families that might as well be myth for all we know of them. After a couple of generations on my father's side, things get a little blurry. Heritage-wise, I know that people were either 100% Polish or Italian, but I don't know if I'll be able to find a lot of detail.

And it's hard to know what ailments are potential threats to us and our hypothetical spawn***. I'm aware of some of the diseases that have been really damaging in my family, but for the most part it just isn't discussed. Some skin cancer, some breast cancer, some heart issues (that last one on both sides). And what's in the genes as opposed to environmental? And how much should we care either way?

Bottom line: we're ditching "Tyler Pell" for "McPellsky" and studying up on our potato-and-cabbage cuisine. Galumpke, anyone?

*His [incredibly awesome] uncle has FINALLY had a serious medical issue diagnosed. The best news is that it's entirely treatable! Apparently it's hereditary and prevalent in the Irish, and it's very rare to actually manifest (others are just carriers). So, strange but great news!
**Although the culture I've been exposed to the most is Italian, which is nonexistent in his bloodline. Sigh*
***Would it be entirely damaging to raise children referring to them primarily as "spawn"? Because I would really like to do that. Sans visits from protective services.

uh-MARE-ickuah...you know the rest

So many conflicting feelings tonight. I keep remembering the images we watched over and over and over when 9/11 happened. The cloud of glass and debris and dust rolling around the sides of skyscrapers and chasing terrified New Yorkers down otherwise abandoned streets. That's not something I'll ever forget.

I'm SO GLAD Obama gets to be the leader that celebrates this win. But I feel weird for being so jubilant about a human being's death. Even if that human being was directly responsible for so much pain and suffering. Someone on CNN compared Osama Bin Laden's death to the fall of the Berlin Wall, and...I see the symbolic similarities, but tearing down a wall is not the same as shooting a person in the head. Really. I don't know what alternatives were available; probably none. I'm not a political strategist. I'm just someone who's never been in a position to take another person's life.

I feel so proud of our military, and I'm happy that America gets to have a major win. I hope this brings some peace to people affected by the 2001 attacks that have never felt like they've received any justice. But I'm not worthy to judge a person deserving of death, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little icky about all the merriment for an old man being hunted down and shot.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

transformers: THE SHIFT DRESS (dun dun DUNNNNN)

For my bridal shower, I have been SWOONING over this dress:

By Lily Pulitzer

This year I am [unexpectedly] loving navy blue and looser fits, and this dress makes me have mini-seizures of adoring. Which is a little dangerous, I guess, but I'm willing to do what I have to do.

Unfortunately, I can't justify the price tag. Or any of her price tags. BUT! I have a plan. I have a dress in a similar silhouette, in this salmony color:


Also by Lily
 Which I've had forever, but have stopped wearing because it has decorative buttons on the front that are REALLY WELL PLACED, if the goal of the dress is to make people think of nipples. I know you know what I'm talking about, but I wanted to provide a visual anyway. Those image searches (buttons + nipples + breasts) did NOT yield the results I wanted, so now we're moving on.

I'm going to remove the buttons, and add some cute rick-rack or eyelet lace. Thoughts on whether I should do gold, ivory or white? Or any advice on who has the prettiest big-pattern lace? Insights are welcome. My plan is pretty much to drive to all the crafty stores in the area and get increasingly exasperated at their lack of appropriate sewing notions.

It is going to be so f*cking ladylike, I can't even stand it.