Thursday, December 29, 2011

last night

Sometimes your husband wants to take an innocent trip to World Market to stock up on his favorite tea, which is on sale, using an online coupon. A totally reasonable and financially responsible endeavor! And other times you, the illustrious spouse, decide hey! I want to go too! And your husband is all, "yay, I love when we do things together!"

And after he picks you up at the metro you make him spend over an hour of his life in that goddamned store while you SCOUR every INCH of the shelves (so many tiny things!!) and end up spending a zillion more of your collective dollars than he'd ever planned.

But. Consider the spoils.

You do not even understand how much I love ginger and how kickass this is going to make all my grownup drinks.
Whaaaat this thing is so badass and means I can bring soup to work IN MY PURSE!! Life: made.

Oh, like you're surprised there's another ginger thing on this list. Have you been paying attention at all?


You have no idea the level of self-restraint I exercised. There was SO MUCH COOL STUFF. And oh man. I didn't even notice the jewelry section until we were checking out and The Foliage wouldn't let me go look. I wonder if World Market sells divorces?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

zomg

 
Over the long weekend, The Foliage and I went to the DMV in Delaware to change our names.
 
Let's set the stage, shall we?
 
1. For the purposes of this post, The Foliage's full name since birth has been Foliage Edward Mopsy
2. His mother's maiden name was Flopsy
3. My full name since birth has been Ceej Cottontail
4. I was confirmed in the Catholic church with the name "Cecilia" when I was 13, but have never legally had a middle name
5. We would like our legal names to be Foliage Edward Flopsy Mopsy and Ceej Cecilia Flopsy Mopsy
6. The Social Security Administration (SSA) totally let us do this without any problems, regardless of gender, or the fact that the marriage license doesn't mention my middle name. They mailed us our new social security cards, with the correct new names a few days later.
  6a. We even specifically asked about needing a court order to change our names.
  6b. And were told the marriage license IS the court order.
 
OK. Now.
 
8. We go to the DMV. The right DMV. Not the dumbest DMV ever in the history of the world. Like, a month after getting our new social security cards so we are DEFINITELY IN THE STUPID SYSTEM.
9. There's no line! We only wait 5ish minutes! Hooray!
10. Go to separate windows. Foliage has the original of the marriage license, I have a copy.
11. At YOUR window, is a sassy middle aged black lady who is NONE too please to be working the Friday before Christmas.
  11a. Not my (or your) problem.
  11b. Oh, wait. Yes it is. Yes it so, so is.
12. Give her your old license, new social security card (with new and improved name!), and copy of marriage license.
13. Get ready...this is when you start getting raised eyebrows. The funnest of all DMV Christmas favors!
   13a. Optional: your DMV representative ignores your explanations in favor of leaning over to the next DMV employee to discuss how ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS your proposed name change is
  13b. Maybe also repeatedly tells you the SSA will basically change a person's name to anything and you can't just do that.
  13c. ...
  13d. Right. That's what the SSA is known for. Not caring about things.
  13e. Step off it DELAWARE. Other states don't even reports traffic accidents to  you because you are SO UNIMPORTANT YOU JERK.
  13f. And you can't change your middle name anyway, [you idiot,] because that's not indicated anywhere on the marriage license.
  13g. But what possible harm could changing a middle name have? And the SSA did it!!
  13h. ...!!!!!
14. Your representative asks you for the original marriage license, which you retrieve, and she emits total confusion/borderline disgust that your HUSBAND HAS IT at ANOTHER WINDOW.
  14a. Um, your husband can't change his last name.
  14b. ...Why not?
  14c. Because he's the husband.
  14d. (summoning all the calm in the universe) I understand that that's not how it's normally DONE but why is that a RULE?
  14e. (Nothing. Judgyface.)
15. Your representative tells you that you can be Ceej Mopsy or Ceej Cottontail. That's it. Would you like a new license for $10?
  15a. No you stupid twunt, I do not want to spend $10 on a liarcense.
  15b. Give me back my goddamned papers.
 
Stalk over to your husband's window
 
16. Mutter to yourself about how bullshitty this whole stupid thing is.
17. Every time you utter a profanity, notice the representative stop and stare at you, ceasing whatever he's doing.
18. The representative asks you not to curse because he doesn't appreciate it.
19. In your head:
  19a. All the curses, ever
  19b. Maybe you shouldn't work at a DMV you moron
20. Outside: teeth grinding
21. Your husband, in an effort to over-correct for your rage, is crazycalm and pays $10 for a license with Foliage Edward Mopsy on it. You know. The name on the license he ALREADY HAS.
22. Speedwalk to the car and arrive just in time to burst into ragetears.
 
Now we have to
 
23. Pay $100+ each to post a Notice of Name Change in a Delaware newspaper for 3 weeks, and have them send us an affidavit that we did so
24. Go to a Delaware Court of Common Pleas with affidavit, marriage license, kidneys on ice, original birth certificates, etc.
25. Maybe get approved, maybe not. Pay $78 + fees, each, for court appointment.
26. Wait? I think? For approval to come in the mail? I don't think we get it the same day as our court appointment. Which is awesome.
27. Go back to DMV.
28. Walk up to that stupid lady's window and drop the mic. After you get the new license, that is; you don't want to be escorted out by security or anything and then NOT get the license.
 
So that's at least $350 (probably more) and 2 days out of our respective offices. Because the DMV website was unclear. That's my main frustration: WE FOLLOWED ALL THE RULES THEY POSTED. Had they posted their ACTUAL rules, we would've been able to plan accordingly.
 
And apparently it's the turn of the 20th century yet again because, public notices in newspapers?? Seriously?! This blog should be public enough. Dear everyone, my new name is Ceej Cecilia Flopsy Mopsy. You have 3 weeks to disagree. I'll be printing out the comments to this post and taking them to court.
 

delusions

 
It's really cute how my husband - who has the worst speeding ticket record on the planet - thinks he can go to court to argue his way out of new speeding tickets. To a judge who will have said record right in front of him.
 
The innocence is just so endearing.
 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

so you're telling me you're buying and mailing a gift to a stranger

You wanna know what I got in the mail today???

Well I'm not telling you.

Yeah OK fine. I got my NosyBitches gift! What the eff is that, you say? It's a gift exchange betwixt those Twitter users who employ the hashtag #wearenosybitches or just #nosybitches. Which grew out of the APW community. We're currently planning a largish-scale (probably camping) get-together. YEAH. It's a little intense.

I made The Foliage park the car and take pictures in the Kiss-And-Ride before running to catch my train, because I knew the all day anticipation might kill me. Behold, the magic:

Buckled up. Safety first.

This box was magical. Totally secure but not all taped up. This is maybe too much excitement for a box, but I think worth it.

I purposefully left these home so I wouldn't eat them at work. Now I've been home 2 hours and I've eaten at least half the box. Dark chocolate covered macadamia nuts?! Are you kidding me???

See? Super excited about this.

And itsy bitsy letterpress letters!!! In really super cute packaging!! I ruuuuuuv!!!!

My gifter (Kayce or @shinyprettybits) sent such a great, thoughtful gift. @bunniesnbeagles organized a fabulous exchange, and @cindysavage made handy-as-sh*t shareable spreadsheets so we could tell each other things like food allergies (did you notice how the edible portion of mine was paleo-friendly? Awwwww yeah!) without exposing the gifters.

The Foliage thinks I should make earrings out of the letterpress letters. I hadn't thought of this, and I like it, but I don't know if I'll do it. I just really like letterpress implements. We'll see. Maybe I'll use them to brand him...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

living the dream

 
Sometimes it occurs to me that my life is SO COOL. I work in Washington, DC - a place I never even knew for sure I would visit in real life. I'm married to one of the the funnest, non-judgiest human beings on the planet. I have incredible friends. And I have a job that not only keeps me financially comfortable and out of debt, but is also ethically fulfilling.
 
OK not necessarily fulfilling. Is there such a thing as feeling like you're being as responsible as you can be? Probably not, unless you don't care about anything. In which case your lack of action would be totally approp.
 
Anyway.
 
My point is that I know these things every day. But sometimes they just smack me in the face. Like today. At lunch I was walking around the city, buying Christmas presents. Yesterday? I went to an incredibly famous art museum to get a gift. And wandered around the galleries and admired the architecture. And today I walked to Logan Circle, through classic DC rowhouse-lined streets, to get another (perfect, if I do say so) present and lunch. Later I'll walk to an amazing yoga class, and then to the metro, which will take me home for under $5.
 
Middle school me is very. pleased. with herself. Well done, little lady.

Monday, December 19, 2011

tiny little sheeps

 
It's Christmas week!! Oh, man, I am excited. Though I'm not entirely sure how December flew by so fast. Our cards haven't even come in the mail yet, and we still have to do crafty things to them, then address and mail all of them. There'll be approximately one zillion. Yeesh. AND we have to pack to move in January AND still have to finish Christmas shopping while also finding time to drop off the gifts.
 
At least we got a nativity set. Awww yeah Team Tyler Pell!! See those little guys on the left? They came in their own little box labeled "tiny little sheeps." Cutest everrrrrrr!!
 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

a reading rainbow

 
OK, another public service-esque announcement:
 
I am so SO annoyed that I didn't know about Neil Gaiman until 2 months ago. I mean seriously you guys. My whole life? All this reading? All this discussion of books? And no one thought it necessary to say something to the effect of, "Oh, hey, so Neil Gaiman pretty much writes your imagination, attitude included"?
 
Call me crazy, but I think it would've been nice to know that.
 
Because seriously. He does. I read "For Whom the Bell Tolls" a few years ago, and it was like reading my own stream of consciousness. But this is like...my stream of consciousness...in a really really good mood. Because my good moods don't take the form of squealing deliriousness or all-around positivity. They're just...good. They're realistic, bemused, they muse, and they come up with ridiculous ideas.
 
I read "American Gods" a little while ago, and today I finished "Stardust" which is the fairy tale I should've had growing up (although I should note my mom told us the original versions of fairy tales as kids, instead of the Disneyed-up versions, which I totes appreciate). And even though the movie takes a LOT of liberties with the storyline, the plot and the aesthetic are really true to the book, and Claire Danes is SO PERFECT as Yvaine. So. Perfect.
 
 
 
Also re-read the middle 2 books of the "Wicked" series last week (I would've re-read "Wicked" for the fourth time, but I couldn't find it). Or I guess I just read them. Because I attempted "Son of a Witch" once before and couldn't get through it, and then never even picked up "A Lion Among Men." But last week I did, in preparation for the new and final book, "Out of Oz" and I'm SO glad. They were both incredible. Stressful and dark and clever, and I'm so so excited to buy the newest book. Maybe today. In, like, an hour.
 
 
 
Speaking of buying books, today is the APW Book Buy. Yes. That's a thing. Meg Keene, the writer of APW, wrote a book about planning weddings for marriages, not in spite of them. Which is, you know. Rare. Really rare. I bought a copy earlier, and you probably should too. Even if you're married. Or never going to get married. Or hate books. Just buy the effing book. And then give it to someone less curmudgeony for crissakes.
 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

i'm on an archipelago

The Foliage and I are obsessed. OK maybe I'm obsessed and The Foliage is just nearby most of the time. This candle is effing amazing. OMG. Seriously. I'm blogging about a candle. Is how amazing this thing is. We found it in a store in Old Town Alexandria and I just held it to my nose while we walked around inside for an hour. It is the best smelling thing ever to happen in my life.

Just a heads up. This is more like a public safety announcement than a blog post. Because what if you lived your whole life without smelling the best ever scent on the planet? That would be sad. Really sad. So you're welcome. Get the damn candle.

Monday, December 5, 2011

things that made me laugh today

 
1. The following gchat messages
The Foliage: I feel like I've been splurging for myself lately
(...)
The Foliage: I'm just saying I should check myself before I wreck myself
and by myself I mean "our finances"
 
2. This article (which is a follow-up to this very incendiary piece)
 
3. Oh, and this one. Is just so ridiculous.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

with my head held high

So, um. Hi, Internet. Sorry I've been so absent. At least from here - on Facebook and Twitter I am totally owning. That's not true, either. Twitter is such an afterthought to my life. I don't understand how my Twitter friends have jobs, because CHRIST they're on ALL THE TIME. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I saw this recently and it totally blew my mind:

Concept and content credit. Design Credit.

Right?? Holy crap! We're on the same side! Why are we arguing with each other?! I mean, I know why we're arguing with each other. But consider the potential effect we could have if we combined forces to reverse pro-corporate laws! Incredible.