Friday, March 2, 2012

if i could just get paid to hold still

 
The other night The Foliage and I did a life coach worksheet thingie (recommended to me by Marcela whose name I want to steal). We completed them separately and then discussed our answers together. That's not the point of this post. Though I will say OMG I/WE LOVE THOSE THINGS. For our first anniversary, we're planning to take a long weekend trip and conduct a DIY relationship retreat. My granna gave us a bunch of relationship books and workbooks as a wedding gift, and I'm really excited to go through them together.
 
OK, admittedly, so far this is the lamest post ever. I can't promise it'll get better.
 
One of the things that emerged on my worksheet was a desire to be more self-motivated and disciplined. Because ummmmm I am not. At all. I'll go through spurts of it, but for the most part, if I didn't have to show up for my job or eventually sometimes eat, I might never get out of bed.
 
Have you ever spent an entire day in bed? It is GLORIOUS. Spa days are a waste of money. Just live it up in your bed. Preferably with a book. Too much TV can ruin it. Anyway. Not the point.
 
The point is: I am a lethargic slob by nature. And I'd really really like to be an energetic neat freak. Well, maybe not all the way to "freak." But consistently neat. That would be nice. And the PROBLEM is that being prone to depression, I will periodically lose interest in all things. ALL things. Including washing my face. And worrying about potential bed sores from spending too much time on the couch. And as I let things go, and the mess piles up, it becomes more overwhelming, which makes me feel even MORE depressed. And I let more and more go. No staying in touch with people, no exercising, no caring. It sucks. A lot.
 
And typically, I'll get in a really good routine and will be super productive...and then my routine will change. I'll spend a night away from home. Or get home too late to make dinner one night. And then BAM screw it all, how many episodes of Vampire Diaries can I squeeze into a Wednesday? (Answer: infinite amount if I just keep pausing on Damon's hip bone scenes.) I was really worried about this happening when we went to Denver this past weekend. I'd been doing really well at planning our meals, and doing all the dishes (The Foliage is in school and was doing homework, otherwise I would've left it to him), and making the bed, and putting away my clothes every night.
 
It hasn't gone totally smoothely.
 
I let clothes pile up, and skipped the dishes once or twice, and haven't really put in the time or effort to cook much this week. So here's what I'm committing to do: every single day, even if I'm in a hotel room, without any excuses, I will make the bed (coughstraightenthecomforteratleastcough), do the dishes, and put away my clothes. Every day. Those things have to happen. Until they do, no sleep. And suddenly I'm 79 and want to be asleep by 9, so motivation for this is high.
 
Maybe someday I can be the kind of person with enough discipline to learn a new language at home. Or GEEZ study for and pass the CPA exam. (But then never ever work as a CPA ever again because YECH worst ever.)
 

2 comments:

UseYourWords said...

Ummm admittedly I have not known you for that long but you've never seemed to me like a person who doesn't have enough energy . . . if anything you seem pretty intensely motivated as a person. Pretty much every time I talk to you you're doing or planning something amazing and INTENSE, and I am mostly like, welp, I am a total slug and should just give up now and die. Maybe it's a focus thing that you're talking about though? I don't really know.

In any case routines are a good plan (srsly I need more of those in my life, JUST THIS YEAR was finally able to convince myself to floss daily and it's a BIG DEAL) and the straighten-up-bed/kitchen/clothes thing is totally a good one. But it also might be helpful to keep in mind that no routine or plan is perfect and that guidelines can be more useful than absolutes? Just thoughts . . . shoot down at will . . .

Jo said...

I LOVE DIY relationship retreats! I do them all of the time! Thank you for this reference!