Tuesday, May 25, 2010

i need you tonight

How have I never heard of dooce before?! And why do so many people hate her??? After reading several hundred of her entries (all at once 'cause that's how I roll when I fall in bloglove) I did a googlesearch, and man oh MAN is there a lot of negativity towards her on the internets! I feel that we were destined to be best friends* and raise our eyebrows at our children and get mad at big companies with nonexistent customer service! I feel it!

Which means I feel protective about her. So back off, jerks. She's with me.

And that kid.

*Please don't tell my current best friends. They would be displeased. Unless they've been looking for a way out of our friendships, which I would understand. I'm kind of obnoxious.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

it's a cruel...cruel summer

Young me was so stupid.
I had all these opinions
about things in which I had no experience.
About issues that have A LOT of gray area.
I was so convinced I was right

Now, I feel like I'm proven wrong on a nearly-hourly basis.
I shy away from "final-sounding" statements.

A few years ago (not even that long...maybe one year) I would've told you that I would NEVER live with a guy before marriage.
For several reasons.
All of which I still believe are valid.

But then, this time last year, when The Foliage and I were still dating long-distance, he got in a fight with a median in Wilmington.
The median won.
His European rims were mangled
and needed to be ordered from overseas.
He was stuck here for a week.
And it was the best week EVER.
Which is when we knew that we couldn't go on being long-distance.
We needed one other to be up in our collective space.

We tried to figure out which one of us should move and how jobs would work, etc.
He decided to move here.
We bought a house.
I still had my apartment.
Where I had every intention of staying.

But he has this cat.
I may have mentioned him once or twice...
He kind of sucks
as far as things that use oxygen go.
And I had to be at the house at least two nights per week to feed him
since The Foliage works and stays in Maryland for the first half of the week.
And it's hard to pack for two nights every.single.week.
especially as a female
because you have no idea what you're going to feel like wearing on any given day.
So I started moving clothes into the house.

And then when The Foliage DID come home, I couldn't very well not be there
to say "hey, babe!"
and kiss him herrow.

And then most of our plans for the other days of the week usually involved both of us, and it just made sense to be in the same place so we could take one car or walk over together.

And then other excuses.

And now we totally live together.

And on one hand, I feel like I totally let myself down.
But on the other, I can't imagine NOT having him up in my space
or vice versa.
And that hand feels totally justified.
But hand #1 makes me feel crappy.
And I think, more than letting myself down, it's that I gave in
to the you'll-seeeeeeees.
Who I hate.
And who can bite me. Hard.

So I caved to a social norm. Damnit. But also YAY I don't CARE because I get to spend as much time as physically possible with this dude who is totes worth marrying, which is totes crazy rare!

Now the matter of somehow getting rid of my apartment...

Anyway, I hear teenagers/early 20-somethings make broad, final generalizations and life-statements nowadays
And I just sigh, heavily.
I wish there were some way to tell them
to shut the hell up
to avoid the eventual guilt/embarassment over caving.
But I obviously can't
because they won't
and then probably will. Too late.

Life is hard when you're super judgy and outspoken.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


We have a site.
A freaking ceremony and reception site.
For $400.
For the entire day-of, and most of the day before.
Full and exclusive access.
And it's total perfection.
No sacrifices being made.

We rule so hard at life.

Friday, May 7, 2010

girl, interrupted

So after I posted yesterday, I realized that my VERY FIRST wedding-related post was mostly negative. And that's no good. I really and truly had drafted a very upbeat "here's how we got to where we are" entry a few days ago, but wanted to add pictures before I posted it. Then I got frustrated and overwhelmed when I still didn't have any of the pictures, and ended up posting my rant. Pre-rave. Shameful.

Also, I'm comfortable with posting wedding stuff here, because pretty much all of my readers are invitees. And I really need to vent about wedding things somewhere more neutral than, say, to my party-planning mother, or my party-planning BFF...or my frequently overwhelmed fiance.

I LOVE having a fiance. So. Here we are. And I am thrilled.

I (again!) don't have my OWN pictures to show you, but I figured I could post about the saga of the ring.

Some time over a year ago, I fell in love with The Nest Ring:

But I made the mistake of telling The Foliage that it didn't look very "engagementy" to me. Ugh. So then he REFUSED to get that ring. Enter ennui.

Just for the record, I told him not to even get me a ring. I'm not a jewelry kinda girl. I lose 1/2 of every pair of earrings, ever. Necklaces get caught in my hair. When I wear bracelets, I feel like something's holding me down. So why get me an engagement ring? I also told him that once we're married, I just want to wear a very plain band. Only. No more engagement ring. And that if he DID get me an engagement ring, I couldn't be expected to wear it every day of our engagement.

Yeah, so I'm a big pain in the tuckus. What of it? You wanna fight over it? I said up front that I didn't want a frickin' ring!! I told him he should save up the amount he WOULD've spent on a ring, and put that towards the engagement party or the overall wedding budget.

But no. That is not how The Foliage rolls.

I was forced to try and fall in love with other rings. This one was a big contender:

Love the cushion cut. Love the color and size of the stone (I may not be a jewelry girl, but if I'm going to wear a rock, I'm going to wear a ROCK). Love the white gold. Love the thin band. I sent The Foliage this picture many, many times.

So the night before we were going to go to Mexico, trying to kill some time, we went to a mall to wander around. We'd talked about our mental timelines for engagement and marriage and things, and had discussed trying on rings, because it's one thing to like a picture of a piece of jewelry, and entirely another thing to like it ON yourself. There were a few jewelry stores at the mall, so we wandered into a few. One of them had a ring very similar to the picture above. I put it on and...meh. It was just so...not me. It was so BRIGHT and WHITE WHITE GOLD and OOOOOH BLUUUUUUUE. It felt like a beacon on my hand. Which is great for a cocktail ring, not so much the ring that I'd be wearing [nearly] every day for the duration of our engagement.

That same store had another ring that sort of came out of left field. And now I can't find a picture of anything similar online.
-Rose gold band
-Green amethyst princess-cut stone (between 1 and 2 carats, I think)
-Center stone surrounded by tiny champagne diamonds.

Whoa. In the case it looked like nothing, but then I put it on...and we both did a double-take. It was like my hand was just sparkling. In a really subtle, natural way. Oh, man. Love!!!

While we were in Mexico (specifically Cozumel, because holy moly, that whole island is like one big mall) we looked at some more rings, but were never blown away. And, to this day, I haven't seen another ring like the rose gold/green amethyst one.

Then we came back from vacation, and The Foliage noticed this online:

Is that The Nest Ring, but in engagement ring form?! By golly, I think it is!

Over New Year's Eve weekend, we were in New York with The Foliage's friends. He got HORRIBLE food poisoning. Seriously...awful. It was painful to know what he was going through without being able to help in any way. On the last day of the weekend, though, we'd planned to go into the city. I kept saying, "Babe, let's go home. You really need to rest. I don't need to go into the city THAT badly." But he kept insisting. Eventually he cracked and told me he'd arranged for us to meet with the designer of The Nest Ring!! So I shut right up.

It was SO FRICKIN' COLD. Do you remember this past New Year's? Do you?! Well we took the Staten Island Ferry, and the second we were off, hightailed it to Century 21 for discount cold weather gear. Yeesh. It should have been illegal to be outside that weekend. Ridiculous.

But we pressed on!

That evening, we wandered over to Brooklyn to meet up with Jennifer at her husband's restaurant, Flatbush Farm. Ohhhhh it was so good, and at least one room in my life will be designed as an almost-direct replica of the bar area. Someday. I'm going to have a lot of tribute rooms in my life, I think.

Anyway, she brought both versions of the ring for me to try on. So fabulous. Oh, goodness. Oh, good heavens. Oh, latent jewelry lover in me. Sheer fabulousness. What else did she bring? Ummm their insanely cute daughter, Pepper!! Seriously, I almost stole this kid. She is the cutest baby I have EVER seen (sorry, friends with babies...meet Pepper and I defy you to not agree with me...your babies are still wicked cute, though). I could babble about Pepper all day. So I'll stop. For now.

If you weren't impressed by the picture of the engagement ring version, don't worry, I wasn't either. But the ring in person...ohhhhhh dear sweet heart palpitations. It is so.so.lovely. in real life. I can't even explain it to you in words. We knew, though, that 4 birds on one ring would be a little much for yours truly. The number of bands (12) also made the overall width a little much for an engagement ring. SO. We reduced the number of bands to 6, the number of birds to 2, the metal to rose gold, and The Foliage was to choose a green stone to go in the ring. Or have Jennifer find ones for him to choose from.

Like so.

Apparently, this is such a process, that he actually (unbeknownst to me) went to New York last Wednesday (the 28th), and spent all day up there dealing with this, and getting the final details hammered out.

And the next day I proposed.

But that's another story for another post.

HOPEfully we'll be able to pick up the ring next weekend. Who knew? The girl who didn't like jewelry all of a sudden feels like she can't LIVE without a ring. Weird.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

you and your tastebuds are in my prayers

I love facebook. I really do. It was via facebook that The Foliage and I stalked one another (OK, fine, just I did the stalking), and started to write back and forth, which led to dating, which led to getting engaged.

Yeah, we got engaged.*

I'll post the full story of that business in a while, when I have the pictures at the ready. From my work desk, that's not possible, and I wouldn't want to shortchange all 8 of my readers the full experience. My mother took pictures. Here's what they confirmed: that I hate my nose and I should've done laundry so I would've had my favorite shirt available for the proposal. Sigh* Maybe next time...

For now, what I want to say is

I hate engagements via facebook.

Not that people get engaged over facebook. Although I'm sure that happens. And I hope it isn't indicative of the couples' real life choices. I just hate the announcement over facebook. I think it's rude.

You know how you're not supposed to send engagement announcements to people who won't be invited to the wedding? Or invite people to your engagement party? Yeah. How is announcing your engagement to the facebook world any different?

I would like to keep our guest list manageable. I do not want to feel like a hostess on my wedding day, wrangling guests and catching up with people I haven't seen in years. Between the two of us, we have a LOT of friends and family. I look at posts by wedding graduates who kept it small. And the photos of both our parents' itsy bitsy weddings. So small! So doable! Then I look at my facebook page. And I have 400 or 500 friends. And a ton of family who isn't on facebook.

Ugh. Can I get an "ugh"? Thank you.

I told my betrothed a WHILE ago that I didn't want to post anything on facebook, and that I'd be deleting my relationship status, so the change wouldn't even show up. The people I KNOW who are IN my life were notified (minus a couple relatives who I didn't want to call so late and I haven't had a chance to call yet, but who I am definitely calling TONIGHT I swear on my hair). But apparently that's not good enough. Even though nearly everyone who has posted a congratulations on my wall has my phone number, they have all chosen to offer good tidings online rather than personally. To me.

I'm appreciative of the well-wishes regardless. I really am. I just feel like such a jerk to all of my OTHER friends, and some family. Who I wanted to find out through me but aren't, or who I wish I could afford to invite, but can't.

See, we have this plan. To have no debt. As in...none. No mortgage or car payments or student loans...nothing. And to reach this goal, we have to be very very frugal and save like crazy. Which we can do...if we have a very modest wedding. Honestly, we'd be better off financially if we had no wedding at all, but that really isn't an option.

My intention was to keep all things wedding off of facebook, until after the fact, when we would then post pictures. For posterity, I guess. Or maybe we wouldn't post pictures. Regardless...best laid plans, I guess.

The Foliage changed his relationship status, and things have gotten ridiculous. And then my own, usually wonderful mother, posted a status about it. Really? Really?! I can't even keep up with all the comments anymore.

I am so excited to be engaged! I am absolutely ecstatic that I get to create a brand-spanking new family with The Foliage, and high five forever and ever! But why did all these other people have to be let in on it?! You know when you have an awesome dream and you try to tell someone about it, and then it's less cool all of a sudden because you've said it out loud? I just wanted it to be ours and ours alone. At least for a while. Buuuuuut I guess that's how life rolls when you've got a load of siblings and really close families. Fine. Fine. Fine.

Just...if you know me, and you have something to say that is regarding a serious matter...please contact me via means other than facebook. Please.

LYLAS, ceej.

*No, I don't have the ring yet, so no, you can't see a picture. I don't care how many exclamation points or question marks you use, I still don't have it yet. Seriously.