Wednesday, January 26, 2011

i'm leaving on a jet plane...possibly

I go through phases where I don't think about the honeymoon at all. In my mind, it's this distant or imaginary land we'll never actually see. We just like to dream about it. So we come up with all kinds of dreams. Dreams where we drive and camp. Dreams where we wait until the last minute and book what looks good (and cheap). Dreams where we have a nearly-deserted island to ourselves in the Mediterranean, and then explore ancient European streets.

But then something reminds me that it is NOT a made-up thing. That it will most definitely be happening, that it will most definitely be happening in just over 7 months*, and that it is going to cost us money. A lot of money.

It's been suggested to wait and go on a honeymoon later, but...I just don't want to. I want to go AWAY with my SPOUSE immediately after all the wedding stuff is FINALLY done. And we'll probably be broke (or knocked up...or both) in 2012, so we don't want to put off taking a supercrazygonutsawesome trip.

September is apparently tropical storm season, so we've ruled out the Caribbean and Thailand. And we've been to Cancun (and will be going again in May for The Foliage's brother's wedding), so we're really fine not doing the lay-on-a-white-sandy-beach-thing. But we do want the option of relaxing. Ye olde fiance loves playing in the surf, so being near a swimmable body of water is ideal. We keep warming up to and retreating from the idea of a cruise, which would enable us to visit several coastal cities in one trip.

Bottom line: we're thinking of getting a travel agent. I went to the Unveiled bridal show this past weekend with My Ship, and I spoke briefly with a representative from Perfect Honeymoons. She advised (probably a sales tactic, but it's not untrue) that waiting to book is risky since Labor Day Weekend is so popular for travel. Her company takes your budget, your likes and dislikes, and then presents you with 3 itineraries, and their fees are built into the total cost. Then they take care of all of it. Which sounds di.vine. And if I don't have to SEE their fees, I don't have to KNOW about their fees, and I can feel awesome. And we'd only have to pick from 3 plans, rather than building a 2 week vacation from scratch, considering every place on the globe.

I follow this blog already and am thinking about emailing them for a proposal. Does anyone have any other good places to check?

*Oh. My. GAWD. 7 months!!!

this may come as a surprise

Dear Jay Leno,

You aren't funny, and I happen to be excited about "The Mechanic" coming out this weekend. I've never coerced The Foliage to pay to see a chick flick, either. Mostly, I can't believe you have a show. I don't want to say "I hate you" or "you suck so much it makes it hard for me to breathe when your show is on" but...please just stop saying words out loud. Forever. Yesterday.



Wednesday, January 19, 2011

my timing sucks

OK, so I SWEAR this is not going to become a weight loss blog, and I've promised myself after this post, my next 5 entries can't involve my body image or fitness or diet or any of that. Because do you care? Um, of course not. And you absolutely shouldn't. But I need to get this out, so for THIS post...

I have the worst timing ever. Here's what's happened so far in week 1 of Weight Watchers:
  • I went to a girls' night out and drank. A lot. Alcohol takes up mad of them points.
  • Right before the night out, The Foliage and I went to dinner where I definitely ate fried potstickers and way too much of my [super decadent] main dish.
  • The rest of the weekend was spent at my parents' house. Where I was fed like Paula Deen was running the show. I never noticed how my mom delights in feeding us. I mean, I guess I'd noticed, I'd just never NOTICED, you know? And so little of it vegetables. Was it amazingly good? Yeah, of course. Not that I'd know, since I had to pass up a lot of it. You can't know true pain until you have to say "no" to your mother's homemade spiced muffins while everyone around you partakes. Truly.
  • It's Restaurant Week in DC. Today I went to lunch at Vidalia with my friend Michelle. Friday I'm double dating for dinner at Lima. Lordy. Am I expected to order salads at some of the best restaurants in the District?! Puh-leeze. What a waste. I got the vegetarian entree, but I don't know that it made up for the black-bottom fudge and mousse cake that finished the meal.
  • Friday after dinner we're hosting The Foliage's siblings for a yay-Robyn-finished-high-school movie marathon and slumber party. Which will of course involve snacks by the pound.
On the other hand, I've been working out, but I can't rack up activity points nearly as fast as I can eat them. So at this point, halfway through the week, I've already used up almost all of my weekly "extra" points, and I have relatively few activity points. I may be screwed.

And that concludes my talking about Weight Watchers, I swear. I just can't stop trying to figure out why this is so hard. I restricted calories to a severe degree for a YEAR for crissakes. I can't even handle a week?! Sigh*

Now back to your regularly scheduled sarcastic musings.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

your love your love you love is my drug

I just signed up for Weight Watchers. Not that I think I NEED to lose weight, I really just wanted to try it out. I hear such good things. It asked for a weight loss goal, and I honestly had no idea. To like my legs enough to wear skirts above the knee? Or to tone my arms to the point that I like them in photographs? I have no idea. So I entered a weight about 20 pounds below mine, because that was the maximum weight loss in my body's range. Or 20 pounds below what I think my current weight is. The last time I was weighed was at a doctor's office, and I've worked out a LOT since then. I've been within 5 pounds of my current weight since, like, high school. I just change sizes, not poundage. So the idea of being 20 pounds less than I am now is pretty...cuh-razy.

OK, I've explored the site more, and you can enter body measurements to use as benchmarks. Awesome. I would like to increase my hips (read: grow an ass) and shrink my legs and arms. Since I only signed up for the 1-week trial, we'll see how I do in the next 6 days. I think 2 inches in each area is tooooootally realistic. Stand by for disappointment.

The Foliage also convinced me to download the Nike Training Club app*, and I'm pretty excited about it. If I complete 1,000 minutes of training (since I usually work out for about an hour, that's 17 sessions), I'm automatically entered to win a training session with a professional trainer, which is pretty cool.

The app has a TON of workouts on it (you can search by goals like "get lean" and "get toned"), and includes video demonstrations of exercises. It's free to download, but takes up a good bit of memory. I just did the 30 minute "Curve Carver" workout on the Intermediate level...that ish is hard. I highly recommend.

I've also been using dailymile to track training for the past year or so, which annoyingly does not have an app that I can use on the go to sync with the site. I know, poor me, in my luxurious e-life with organized fitness. Whatevs.

Anyway, so that's the free stuff** I use to maintain my fitness goals. Oh, I guess I should mention my goals: be hot. That's pretty much it. I'm hot now*** but it's not like any person in the world couldn't stand a little improvement.

I also pay to work out at BFit once a week, and it's $22 per session (unless you buy packages of classes like I do, but it's still more expensive than, say, not paying anything at all). And I go to Stroga for yoga almost once per week. I'd been really good, but the crappy weather this past week deterred me, I am sorry to say. That's $15 per class unless you buy a package, but their package deadlines come really quickly and scare me out of committing.

So this business still adds up. And I feel kind of guilty about it, how much I spend on working out when there are so many free options available. Is my point. Luckily (unluckily?) The Foliage is super accepting and even encouraging, not because he thinks I need to improve, but because when we met I was thin, but in a really unhealthy way. And the guy is all about health. I mean except for his Taco Bell and Mountain Dew affinities. Which have totally become less prevalent over the past 3 years, I'll have you know. But if I'm spending $30 or so per week on 2 fitness classes, that's $120 per month. And I also sign up for the odd Groupon or LivingSocial deal to gyms or for random classes.

I don't know what the conclusion here is. How much is it worth to be the healthiest, most confident you you can be? For someone who is awful at maintaining a fitness regimen for more than a month or two, is the accountability of classes necessary? What about down the line when there are maybe kids? How will I have time for this ish? Or the money? Oh, life! You little metabolism-screwing joker you!

*The dude will download anything if it's free. An.y.thing. If there were a My Little Pony app and it didn't cost him, he'd get it. I don't know why. It's kind of ridiculous. This particular app is made for women, but the article he read said that guys shouldn't write it off because of that. Business is in.tense.
**Weight Watchers will cost money after the first week, so it's really only free as of this post.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

you are WELCOME

Earlier this week, The Foliage got really, disgustingly sick. Seriously, it was gross. I was there when he got horrible food poisoning over New Year's Eve last year, and totally helped him out then, but this was different. It was happening in our new apartment. Our new, clean, shiny apartment. And he was vomiting all over it.

OKFINE he was only vomiting in the approved receptacles. But it was still less awesome than, say, not vomiting in the first place.

So I went to work while he stayed home sick, and I asked him if I could get him anything. He wanted chicken soup and a soda. After work I went across the street to Panera, and got his food. But this Panera doesn't have soda in bottles, only fountain soda in plastic cups with flimsy lids. And I had to take the metro home.

The train was, of course, PACKED for rush hour, so I took the less-crowded train that ends before my stop. Even then I was standing, and constantly checking my two liquid items to make sure they were still intact. The train kicked me off at the end of the line, and I waited in the cold for a second one to come along and take me the rest of the way.

From the time I left Panera, to the time I set the food down on our counter, I was visualizing ways for this whole process to be ruined. I kept imagining people slamming into me on the metro, or a door flying open too fast, or sticking out an arm to grap the escalator rail and dropping the bag. Basically, it was 45 minutes of total panic and self-doubt.

When I got home to Leaf, sitting weakly and dehydrated in bed, I thought, "I shouldn't tell him. I don't want him to feel badly about the hassle."
But then I did.
Because that's the kind of girl I am.

That is the end of that story. No, really.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

post script

And Ferris Bueller. What a douche. Why do you need to skip school to go into the city? That's what THE SUMMER is for, you high schooler! You get a built-in 3-month break to do whatever you want. Oh, and weekends. Toolbag.

boys are icky

Characters in media I do not like:

Tom Sawyer
Zack Morris
Dennis the Menace

All of the above are complete and total jerks, who screw with people in the name of their own selfish interests. Disgusting. Loathesome. Of course I loved "Saved by the Bell" back in the day, but I was young. I didn't know any better. But I NEVER liked that Dennis. And we all know how I feel about Tom.

Character in media I like:

Harriet the Spy

This girl had spunk. This girl lived life. This girl didn't cause anyone undue stress.

I think the bottom line here is that male characters tend to be horrible pains in the *ss. Also, I finished The Lacuna and was kind of disappointed. It was really good, I just...didn't really get into it as much as I expected to. Maybe I feel for Kingsolver's female characters more deeply than male. Maybe I feel for ALL female characters more deeply than male. Maybe this post has pointed out a potentially major propensity of mine for female perspectives - and disregard for male - that I never knew existed.

Whoa, Blogspot. Whoa. It's only Tuesday for crissakes. Just calm it down.

Friday, January 7, 2011

proof of genius

Remember when I was all, "we totally found an awesome and cheap venue!!"? Right after we got engaged? We had the person in charge of the property mail us a contract (she didn't have them with her because 2011 contracts hadn't been prepared and approved yet), which we received and set aside with our other Very Important Papers.

Then it totally disappeared. The other Very Important Papers (VIPs, if you will) were exactly where we had left them, but no venue contract. We figured it had been shuffled around somewhere in BedBugGate2010, but could. not. find it. We went through every stack of everything derived from a tree. Twice. It was infuriating.

So about 3 months ago I sent the in-charge-lady a text message apologizing for the inconvenience, and asking if she could send another contract if the date was still available. Which was a tooootal long-shot because COME ON venues get booked up, like, 2 years in advance*.

Last week I received a text message from her saying that she'd send another contract if I was still interested in 9/4/11. Which I obviously was. So I responded that that would be great.

Today, The Foliage is at the house in Delaware**. And he found the contract. On the refrigerator.

Bottom line: we are idiots, and the state should maybe not trust us to enter into such binding contracts as, oh, say, MARRIAGE. Yeesh.

*Unless they periodically smell like mushroom farms and feature decaying mini-golf courses, I guess.
**To have it thermally treated to kill every single thing with an exoskeleton on the premises. Whoohoo!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

i'm a loser, baby

Yeah, so I never write anymore. I know. Here's the problem: our apartment is completely ashambles right now, and I never feel relaxed enough to write. Not that I don't relax there. I totally love our new place, and I feel completely comfortable there. We just don't have anywhere to lounge yet other than, um, the bed. And I don't really like being on my computer in bed. BUT we are going to have the house thermally treated for bed bugs, and afterwards all of our possessions will be 100% safe again! And then we'll be able to bring down some furniture.

We did get 2 sah-weet armchairs from World Market last week, though. $100 each. For armchairs!! I love when stores accidentally don't take down the sale signs. Love.

Now the other problem is afoot: work. I have stuff to do. And I like doing it. And I like the location and my department. It's all pretty sweet. Which hopefully isn't jinxy to say, because I'd like to be here for a while. Anyway, nose to grindstone. I'm hoping to do a post soon about my Christmas spoils, so look out for that ish.