Tuesday, November 20, 2012

how can you stand it

I mostly don't care about people's comments about the kid or me or whatever. The general public has mostly left me alone regarding my pregnancy, which has been AWESOME. And the unsolicited comments I do get don't phase me. I read those "what not to say to a pregnant lady" articles and I scoff. Because who cares? I could be due any day now. I could be having twins. Whatevs.
But there is this one lady. Oh, goodness. Everything she says makes me want to hit her. And she always has something to say.
Example 1:
I was at my desk, probably 13 weeks or so. She came over to talk to me, and I said something to the effect of, "I haven't gained any weight, but I feel like my belly is growing SO FAST." She says, "I'm sorry, it's what you're eating. It's the junk."
Oh, I forgot to mention, her "shtick" is that she says crazy things and then stares at you while everyone around cracks up at JUST HOW BRAZEN she is, often accompanied by a completely not genuine "I'm sorry." Also, she sits on the other side of the office and never sees what I eat. Which is generally very healthy, and during the first semester was not a lot.
I just sort of "Oh. Hmm. Maybe."-ed through it. But good gracious. I wanted to kick her in the shins.
Example 2:
Last week I went into the kitchen to heat up my lunch (a healthy lunch OF COURSE), and she was asking some questions about the kid blah blah blahhhh and says, "I'm sorry, but you are gonna carry this baby ALL over. It's not gonna be the cute little bump." To which I responded, "Yeah. I know. I was never narrowly built. I was never gonna have a basketball-shaped baby bump." But to which I WANTED to respond, "HOW 'BOUT YOU FCK OFF, LADY."
I would also like to note that the dress I was wearing that day was flowyish, and didn't give a lot of definition to my stomach. But also, fck off lady.
Other people's comments? Cool. No big deal. Of course they're also not complete jerks, so that helps. I feel like I'm being overly sensitive, though. But ALSO since when is it cool to just make unsolicited comments about another person's body? Especially ones that constantly imply the absence of cute? And she has kids! She's been a pregnant person! She knows what a weird time pregnancy is body-image-wise!
Ugh. People.

Monday, November 19, 2012

weekend update

Organized the basement. Which was a scary, looming task. I'd built several days of prep-sorting into last week's schedule, to make the final push over the weekend easier. Then we didn't do ANY of the prep sessions. But we got it done in, like, 2 hours? Maybe less? All on Saturday afternoon. Amazing.
I also made super healthy crockpot chicken, but then Leslie said "waffle tower" on "Parks and Rec" so we went to Eggspectations for dinner, where I got an eggs benedict dish with a waffle on the bottom.
Win some, lose some.
We love love love our gold couch and armchair, but decided to sell them before the baby comes (22 weeks today, madre de dios), in favor of heartier upholstery and something better for curling up while I nurse the thing endlessly. So listed the set for sale on CraigsList and fell in love with the Karlstad couch at Ikea, in dark grey fabric. The couch is really comfortable, and you can personalize the layout completely, which is great.
Saturday. The Foliage came across a couch on CraigsList in the Karlstad line, in our upholstery, for $150. Emailed and got dibs. Rented a ZipCar to tow it. Picked it up, then went to Ikea (with returns from our wardrobe adventures last month) to get an additional piece we wanted. Total for our new sectional couch, with transportation and returns, was $515. That setup retails for $900 not including delivery/vehicle rental. So we got it for about 50%. Ummmmm so much pride. It's ridiculous.
Yesterday attended our first dog obedience class. Without the dog. Because the first class is for listening to the teacher, not obsessing over your puppy. (Yes. We would've obsessed.) I feel pretty good about what we've done so far, and I'm so so glad to be getting legit advice about what to do in situations that totally stump me. Also we'll apparently be able to just use hand gestures with him by the end, which is incredible.
Weird: the instructor brings her dog to class with her. It's a 13 month old Pyrenese and this thing is GIGANTIC. Holy CRAP. Really pretty and sweet, but good gracious. And she said something about a conversation she had with her breeder. And I just don't understand dog lover people who go to breeders. I'm a dog LIKER not necessarily a dog LOVER, but people who are all about animal rights and shit and making sure they stay all alive or whatever...it just confuses me so much. And it distracted me during the class, trying to reconcile this in my head. But I guess it's none of my business.
Oh, other fun thing this weekend! Got a vase as a housewarming gift a few weeks ago. It's very nice, but we don't really need a vase, especially not one from Crate & Barrel, so we took it to the mall to return it. The lady rung up the return and told us we could only have store credit. And I could have SWORN C&B credits were useable at Williams Sonoma, but apparently that's Pottery Barn and I'm the whitest person who ever lived. Anyway, I was annoyed, so I turned to The Foliage and just sort of shrugged and said, "FINE let's look around, I guess." Cashier lady was not. pleased. But come on! What can you buy for $20ish dollars there?! Rolls of wrapping paper are $8 each, and have hardly any paper on them. And the patterns weren't even that innovative! Pathetic. We ended up getting some candied almonds and pine tree candles that'll look cute with our nativity scene.
Lastly, we discovered last night our dog is TERRIFIED of the vaccuum cleaner. The rugs look so nice! But oh goodness...the anguish. I almost let him snuggle on the couch with me to calm him down. Almost.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

don't think bon iver has a song about this

Last night The Foliage felt Sprout kicking for the first time. Before then I'd put his hand on my stomach during kicks, but all he could feel was my pulse. But last night apparently the kid started a marathon training program? Or decided that s/he is in a super squishy hamster wheel? So. Suddenly very easy to feel even if you're not me! That was exciting.
For now, this is very cool. Really not looking forward to those tiny bones getting longer and becoming more solid.
Re: "more solid" one time in Freshman year of high school, I was in English class, and the teacher was going around the room having us give examples of adjectives. Which, reading that now, sounds like the most ridiculously elementary (elementary!) task ever, but we WERE in rural Southern Ohio, and English wasn't high on most kids' priority lists. The teacher got annoyed with the poor offerings and abruptly turned to me for my contribution, saying something about how I know words.  Or something.
And, of course, I panicked and got flustered, because that's what I do when unexpectedly addressed, and felt the desk's surface under my hand and after what felt like a very dramatic pause said "hard" which made the popular boy in front of me laugh his ASS off.
And THAT my friends is how to save face when the teacher calls you out for being smart (sidenote to teachers: for fuck's sake stop doing that) - accidentally play the ditz/sex card. THE END.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

dream big

I don't care who General (ex-General I guess) Petraus has slept with. Like even a little bit. Can we just, as the people of the world in non-leadership positions, resign ourselves to the fact that most of our leaders aren't super awesome at monogamy? It's just so goddamned COMMON that I can't believe it's ever an issue anymore. Like a tabloid saying celebrities look terrible in their bathing suits - sure, whatever, I guess, I'd just like to pay for my groceries, please.
Of course if we did that, some politicians clinging to their so-called-Christianity would be totally screwed, and others would be ever-so-slightly less hypocritical. DOESN'T THAT SOUND NICE?! I know. It super does. Also maybe the public could give the slut-shaming a fcking rest.
We are going to The Keys this month, the week after Thanksgiving. Come rob our house! Psyche don't do that. We've looked up some activities/restaurants, but suggestions are welcome. We're staying in the mid-Keys area.
Here are things I want to happen before we leave:
-Organize the basement
-Make snacks for our travel days
-Sell some pieces of furniture
-Return stuff to some stores
-Buy other stuff/furniture
-Make more lists because lists are my favorite
And Louis Tully's first obedience class is this Sunday! So exciting. He's so good, mostly, but also can be a GIGANTIC PAIN IN THE ASS. Like how yesterday he chewed through a lamp cord. The lamp was plugged in. Seems as though his spit got through before he made contact with the wire and shorted the circuit. THANK THE LORD.
On Saturday we took him downtown, and on the drive home (after I'd dropped The Foliage off to get ready for the super fancy wedding he was in) the dog threw up FIVE TIMES IN FORTY MINUTES. On the leather interior. Still seems like it was for no reason.
It's just been a whirlwind of magical, magical dog-ownership. It blows my mind that an animal that is either crated or monitored 99% of the time can be so destructive.
The rest of my brainspace is currently devoted to trying to figure out what's going to happen next in the Game of Thrones books because now I am that person and I don't want to hear about it, but The Foliage better get a move on and finish reading the first book so we can start watching the show already, because SO HELP ME no one will make me miss seeing Adam Scott mostly or completely naked. No. One. No. How.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

i wish i could eat your cancer

Hooray Obama! Hooray not Romney! Hooray legalizing gay marriage in Maryland!!! Hooray DREAM Act in Maryland!!
Slightly disappointed about the gambling thing passing, but whatevs. I don't own property here. WAY TO GO, GUYS.
I went to bed mid-election-coverage last night, and I'm so glad I did. Guess what! Results were the same. Even though I found out in the morning. So that was nice for me.
Next: 2 things. First is that I'm doing a food challenge thing, NoCoPoMo (November: C[r]ockpot Month), and attempting to use the crockpot at least twice per week. Second is that after MONTHS I finally went to a new acupuncturist, and she thinks that most issues I've expressed are caused by (aside from genetic predisposition) the foods I eat. And I shouldn't eat ANY uncooked/cold vegetables, or drink freezing cold water. So HAHA CROCKPOT HERE WE GO.
So yesterday I made ribs, using the recipe in Amy's GoogleDoc linked here. Though I substituted cayenne pepper for the jalapenos and coconut aminos for the soy sauce. And we used some long-ass kind of pork rib. I don't know what they were called, but each one was about a pound. Definitely not short ribs. My recipe ended up being:
3ish pounds of some kind of pork rib
Some brown sugar (I just shook some in. It felt excessive because I never use sugar. Also I hadn't used it in so long it was a BRICK of sugar and I had to use a hammer to break it up enough to get it out of the bag. The hammer tore some holes in the bag. Despair.)
Whatever I had left of a bottle of coconut aminos. Half a cup? Maybe more? About half a bottle.
.5ish cups of water
A few shakes of cayenne pepper (We got ours at Whole Foods and have heard it's spicier than other kinds)
Put all that shit in the pot, smeared the sauciness around on the meat, set the cooker to 10 hours on low.
The meat came out SO TENDER, and I really love the end bits with crevices that got a lot of the sauce crusted up on them. This version didn't come out spicy, but it also wasn't crazy sweet like I was afraid might happen. Today I brought the leftovers for lunch, along with sweet potatoes I'd roasted in cumin, coriander, etc. last week.
Here is a picture of it, post-toasting (I don't use microwaves - ever)(in the background, my to do list)(also I can't figure out how to rotate the picture in an email window, so...just turn your heads or something).

Monday, November 5, 2012

raindrops on roses

We have owned our house in Delaware for 3 years!! Which means that I have been blogging longer than 3 years. Which is nuts. But to the point: we don't have to legally live there anymore!
Here is some stuff we're going to do now (or after the 1st of the year...need to figure out the tax implications of timing):
-Legally move to Maryland
-Change all of our checking accounts to ONE credit union account
-Yeah, we could've done that already, but it just seemed easier to do it once we had one local address on record
-Other stuff. I don't know. That might be it, actually.
Sadly, this is happening after the election, so I can't vote on the issues that Maryland lobbyists have been PAYING SO MUCH MONEY TO PUT IN MY FACE.
Here's how I would vote if I could:
-Question 3: undecided. I guess for it. (removing elected officials from office automatically if found guilty of a crime...this has to have other ramifications, though, like who steps in? And which crimes?) I'd leave it blank.
-Question 4, to allow children who have immigrated to MD to continue in the public school system: yes. For crissakes.
-Queston 5, redistricting: meh, I guess I'm opposed. Would leave it blank probably.
-Question 6, gay marriage: FOR. VOTE FOR. DO IT IMMEDIATELY.
-Question 7, gambling in MD: NO. Holy eff no. Have you ever been to a casino surrounded by nice? You have not. Because casinos ruin economies. They create hundreds of minimum wage jobs, kill property values, and create areas with ridiculous levels of crime. Want to see terrible income distribution in action? Visit Atlantic City. Madre de Dios.
-Questions A and B both sound good to me.
I am so jealous of everyone voting in Maryland. LE SIGH. Also REALLY pulling for Prop 37 to win in California, which would require labeling of GMOs PLEEEEEASE LET IT HAPPENNNNNNN!!
Also I reeeeeeally want people who don't care to stay away from the election. But you're not allowed to say this. Voting is your right! Your responsibility! You know what else is your responsibility? Doing some effing research before you show up to vote. Also (as seen above) you can just NOT vote on issues if you're not informed/decided.
My parents and [one of my] sister[s] visited this weekend and MAN so much political discussion! So exhausting! But I do really and truly loathe apathy, so. Better than that, I guess.
Other stuff:
-My grandparents and aunt and uncle on Long Island are OK! Without gasoline or power and trees blocking driveways and showering at the YMCA and could really use a shave, but OK!
-Got to work this morning, was putting cream cheese on a bagel and a GIGANTIC wad of spit fell out of my mouth, onto my lap. Like, more saliva than I've ever seen come out of any human at one time in my life. How did I not feel that lurking in there?! I never even had that "oh, shit, drool time!" feeling. No idea what this means. Can't be good.
-I'll post videos of the dog being tortured by us soon. He's so so good at being tortured, I can't even stand it.

Friday, November 2, 2012

here's a weird thing

If I were my mom's friend in 1984/5, I totes would've told her to get an abortion. So she could finish school. So she could not be tied to her current boyfriend forever and ever. I would have driven her to the clinic and helped her pay for the procedure.
And that is with the knowledge that my parents' marriage ended up great. And my life is awesome and I love it. And I have a great relationship with my parents.
I would still give exactly the same advice. Because that decision had absolutely nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her. She was not choosing ME or her life, she was choosing not her life (as she knew it) or her life. Adoption would not have been an option with either of their parents involved (and they would have been involved...trust me). I personally believe I would've been born another time, but that's just me.
I spoke recently with a friend who's pro-life because she was adopted and could have easily been aborted instead. I get it. That's an intense thing to think about for your entire life. But I dunno. I could've been too. It's true of every person, they just aren't always so aware of it. Keeping a baby is always a choice, on some level.
Anyway. Weird.